Now, I believe I cannot change people, however in a way, I lobby to change people by refusing to grant them sympathy. I see sympathy as one of the most damaging forces on the planet, it enables a person to focus only on the problem. Well, I have been sober now for about 25 years, and feel now that I have been alienating people for years. Maybe it is time to accept, I do not have the right, desire, or need to change people.
Therefore, after listening to the Dale Carnegie book, where he often explains how to use sympathy as a way to find common ground. Does he take them into a solution, not really, but he doe take them to a level where the are not angry and become open up.
By giving sympathy, we can on occasions help a person to stop complaining, maybe that is closer to a solution.
For the hardcore problem seeker, the alcoholic, or addict of some form, if they are my friend or family, I will still assume my brusk stance of saying that brutal truth, willing to lose friendship, but not enable.
I feel or sense I care less for people as I grow older, I am 56, I do not strive so hard for perfection. I just want to hangout with acquaintances, and have less problems.
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