Refusal to accept childish or stupid behavior

To be content, is to accept, often we show our dysfunctional nature by the refusal to accept children into our lives.

Anger, frustration, and discontent is almost epidemic in the 50 plus developed countries on the planet. However, the 200 plus poorer countries appear generally happy in comparison to the rich ones. The question is why? Why is prosperity and wealth a problem, why are people in the richer countries full of pent up rage?

I am Andy Lee Graham, a world traveler, I am presently in the city of Kara, Togo, West Africa I will live here for one-two months.

Africa laundry hotel

The Laundry Story:
I started to call this, "The Childish Laundry Story," but maybe that is not fair?

Yesterday, here in the Auberge Beau Sejour, where I am presently living, I asked Angel to wash my clothes. This was not the first time, it was the second time she would wash my clothes. I paid here three days wages the first time, and planned on paying her the same again.

I believe in generosity, but it often eludes me why being generous is almost never an inducement for good quality work? (I forget children expect more and more, if 1 is good, then next time 2 is better.)

OK, at 7:00 am in the morning I took all my soiled laundry to Angel, with a small bag of laundry detergent. 

My goal for laundry was not Angels goal.

There is almost never a dryer or wash machine to be found in West Africa, people generally hand wash clothing, then hang them on the clothes line to dry. This requires you allow ample time for them to dry.

What happened to my laundry?

7:00 PM, the sun sets, and my clothes are not dry, they are hanging in three separate locations, and she even has take a third of them to the neighbors property.

My goal for Angel was this, I wanted her to wash all of them before 10:00 am, then take them up onto the roof, and allow them to dry in the sunf from 10:00 am unti about 3:00 pm. It has be trying to rain here daily at about 4-5:00 pm, this would give plenty of time for the clothing to dry.

Andy - Stop right here, this is not right...

I was angry last night with Angel, she is simple woman of about 50 years old, truly in many ways an Angel. I really like her, and mostly because she is simple, not a care in the world, just puts in her time, laughs, smiles, and even sings while inside the Hotel. She is in many ways, the perfect Hotel worker, and if you have been to West Africa, you know what I mean.

It seems the fashion to have a look of disgust on the faces of anyone that is working in West Africa. If they are not working, they are fine, but anyone that has a boss has a grimace on their face, it is prevalent.

But, Angel does not have that face, she is childlike pleasant.

I know Angel is childlike, as is most people of Africa.

I think there is a real problem with brain drain, I am not joking.

The 200 poor countries just do not plan much, think ahead, or strategize and set priorities, anything goes, and anything is acceptable.

I am angry at Angel because I refused to accept her, and Africa as it truly is, more or less a places of adolesence paradise, where one never needs to grow up, and have goals. This is why I love it and hate it.

The solution to laundry in the Hotel?

Today, I will pay Angel four times her daily wages for the horrible job of washing my clothes. This will buy her back to me as a friend, money is truly the secret to smiles, especially to people who do not deserve it.

Friendships is more important here, my number one priority is a happy dwelling, a Hotel full of smiles, not my laundry, that is a lessor goal. (aagh, I can never stop making goals.)

Overpaying people often makes a bigger dent in the brains, then underpaying, in a way, I say, the money is not important, and the confusion cause them to think, and inspection is rare on planet earth. Overpaying causes the world to think more than punishing people.

I will wash my clothes myself in the future, or I will hire a girl from the streets to come and wash the clothes inside my room while I am watching. Now think about it, how would you manage a child of 10, if you wanted a person of this age to hand wash your clothes? You would monitor them, watch them, and supervise all their actions from start to finish.

My anger was dysfunctional,  it did not change anything, I have been to Africa eight times, and traveled all over the planet in childish countries, free of goals, and no concept of time, and priorities. They are great countries, life is free of responsiblity, but poor because nothing is done in what we would call a professional way. It is hard to pay big money when the quality of work is the level of a 10 year old.

I could sweeten this up, and say all of this in a political correct manner, but would lead to more dysfunctinal thinking, I am saying it the best way, the majority of people on the planet just do not think, common sense is uncommon.

I must stop expecting people to have the same goals as me, I am in Togo, I am not in my parents house.

Generally, my happiness has been sabotaged in life, I continually search for a family of friends, workers, and people who treat me the same as my Mother and Father.

That goal is dysfuntional, it is not a goal that functions, there is no way to re-create my parents, they are one of a kind. And yes, I know, we must go out and about looking for a mate, and I do seek a wife who is like my mother.

My Mother and Father are about as perfect as they get on planet earth, I have been to 90 countries, I am positive of this, I have seen the rest.

Maybe, this is the curse of the developed world, to never accomplish our goals, to never find acceptance.

I will try to not set myself up, and think this through better. I truly believe that accepting that people are generally childish, irrational, and lacking in common sense is the only functional decision to be made.

Fun and games on planet earth.

Andy Graham


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Comments 1


Many people in the U S are the same way when it comes to work.
A lot of it is due to how our culture has changed since around the 60s.
Two parents working, kids more on their own.
Either families had more money, kids became spoiled, expected more for less.
Hippie generation, Nam, cold war, instant gratification, etc. It has all brought
about a pooer work ethic. Not all but a vast majority of todays population
are unemployed, on welfare, elementary/high schools/colleges overcrowded
so let somebody else do the work. But they who do work are underpaid,
unappreciated, so why bother doing a good job.
This is a general look at things but its also real.
Older people like your parents Andy grewa up with a strong work ethic partly
because their parents often were children or adults of the depression.
I learned from my father that when you take a job you are responsible for
doing the best you can always. If you dont like what you do then quit so
someone else who needs a job will do it right.
Middle class and oor didnt have instant gratification then, there was almost
always a mom or other relative at home all the time.
Now that is not so.

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