There is a phrase,“Alcoholism is the disease that tells a person they don’t have it.”
I would propose that all of human relationships that survive end in dysfunctional behaviors that are parasite, one person sucks more from the relationship, and the other agree to be the victim.
Recently, as I was walking back the Hotel here in Kara, Togo West Africa with a smile on my face after talking with a nice girl in the market. As I was walking away she called,“Blanc.”More or less “White Man.”
I am black West Africa, and every calls me Yevo in Togo, Nasara close to Niger, Abroni in Ghana and Bonfrere in Cote d’Ivoire.
But truly if the locals spoke French as their first language, and not Kabye, the local ethnic language, they would say,“Blanc.”
A functional conversation is where the two people involve want to understand, and intuitively help each other towards some goal. For example, in the market, I could ask the price of one apple, and the person could reply with the price for one apple. This seems straight forward, but often they will tell me the price for five apples, because they want to sell five, not one. And, I repeat, and they refuse to tell me the price for one, even though I am positive, if I just help up on, and tried to pay, the person would accept the money and I would have an apple.
Therefore in all conversations, there are subconscious, conscious and not functional conversations.
Charles Darwin said,“All of nature is a battlefield.”
Therefore, when I enter the market here in West Africa, or the Mall in the USA, I enter the field of battle. In this battle, each person strives to survive by climbing on top of others, or by keeping other down.
There are many relationships that form between people, but for this discussion to keep it simple let’s describe the relationships between only two people.
A short list: just some ideasCo-dependent, interdependent, partnerships, mutualism, end symbiosis, commensalisms, parasitism, mainsails, synnecrosis and other fancy words.
But if all of a nature is a battlefield, and it there are two people in the battle, then one will eventually win, it is natural. What is not natural is for two people to mutually help each other to the same degree.
I would propose that in the end, one person is more the victim and the other the beneficial party. One if the parasite, and the other provides whatever is needed by the parasite.
Interestingly, I would surmise that all relationships are naturally dysfunctional in nature. And truly, to believe there are predominately functional healthy relationships is a just human wanting to fool ourselves into accepting our roles with other people.
Maybe the world needs to be in constantly denial to exist?
With this, I can say, that roughly 50 percent of marriages closer to 60 percent are broken. This is serious breakdown, and would be sign of dysfunctional behavior.
Without much more to talk about, my guesstimate is that 70 percent of humans are more dysfunctional, than functional. And fortune ally for the world, the alpha male and females keep all of nature in check, but it is to be eaten or be eaten, all of nature is a battlefield.
And to think, this girl thinks it is functional to all me white man, but if she was in the USA, it would not be allowed for me to call her black girl.
What I believe I should do as a functional human means I would stop playing the game of dominating others, and as soon as I stopped, the others in the groups would see the weakness, and take control.
Andy Lee Graham - Kara, Togo West Africa February 2013
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